Eish, let’s fix Eskom’s apartheid by going shopping

Yebo, my friend, you’ve heard the bad news: Eskom is broken because of apartheid. It’s racial. Verwoerd made maths difficult and engineering even more so, hence you can blame it on apartheid. President Zoomer has just had his blindingly brilliant insight and all the libtard media dutifully conveyed this piece of anal-ysis to dem voting masses.

What else can you blame on apartheid? Well, Skoppensboer’s ingrowing toenails come to mind. Also, all the faeces in the Jukskei and the Vaal and all the other rivers may be attributed to apaaaatheid, I’m tellin’ ya, my good man. After all, who taught all these citizens to be so disposed as to not make proper use of the ablutions and the extant sewage facilities? The A factor, what else?

If some non-racial dude propels a chunk of concrete through your car window, as happened to Skoppensboer’s niece the other day, and grabs your handbag or your laptop, you can only blame it on apartheid. After all, said smash-and-grabber would not have been out there smashing and grabbing if it weren’t for apartheid. Like the devil, apartheid is everywhere, luring our upright, ethically pristine citizens into temptation.

Skoppensboer is just waiting for the day when the courts and the police stations and the prisons will give it all up, saying: “Apartheid makes them do it, so let’s set all these innocent victims of that crime against humanity free.” If you think about it, why did the Tukkie rapist, Samuel Msiza do the deed? Skoppensboer can already hear a whole mass choir of libtards, including Jaycup Zoomer, screaming: “Because of apartheid!” He could have stabbed his young, innocent victim once or just klapped her without raping her. But no, because of apartheid – even though he was born into this here beautiful democracy – he had to stab her 22 times and rape her while she was almost bleeding to death.

Why did South Africa’s 10 black serial killers (11 if you include one white drug addict) murder 205 people, if not because of apartheid? The fact that the rest of us do not serially kill or rape or lurk about street corners throwing stones at motorists constitutes no proof that apartheid is not to blame for everything that is going so dismally wrong in our once beautiful but presently soiled republic.

What is the solution to the lingering apartheid problem? As any libtard genius will tell you – all libtards are genii – we are already on our way to solving it by means of: affirmative action, BEE, as well as spending any budget that you can lay your hands on as if there’s no tomorrow. Ditto, when it comes to Eskom. The electricity utility just needs to get rid of any remaining white engineers who got degrees at some apartheid university prior to 1994 and ratchet up the salaries and the spending.

In short, Eskom’s employees need to get their act together over there in Megawatt Park and go shopping! As it is, Sandton City is not too far from Megawatt Park – hardly a ten-minute drive by Bentley – and there are any number of luxury-car dealerships in the vicinity where any soupçon of apartheid in the air might be assuaged by the smell of leather inside a brand-new Porsche, Merc, Bee-Em or Audi. Not to forget the Bentley which is, I am sure, one of the preferred brands for Eskom’s middle to upper management. Last time Skoppensboer looked, the Bentley dealership was also astutely situated within a radius of 10 km from Megawatt Park, in William Nicol Drive. So you need not joke anymore that BMW stands for “black man’s wheels” when, much more likely, Bentley is now the flagship affirmative automobile easily within reach of the average Eishkom exec.

Like the collapsing silo of the Majuba power station, Eskom’s problems will look after themselves while we address what every libtard is clamouring for and that is: “redress for the legacy of apartheid”. As the very existence of Eskom’s ugly power stations dotting the country attests to that legacy, it follows that we would be better off without them. We could all have little windmills or solar panels or cultivate electricity-producing bacteria in our bathtubs which would otherwise have been utilised for cold baths anyway.

Talking of cold baths and showers, Skoppensboer has noted that City Power in Johannesburg is threatening to “remotely turn off” the hot water geysers of its recalcitrant consumers in these times of energy scarcity. Caused by apartheid, needless to say.

So Big Brother has, apart from some luxury automotive toys, acquired the technology to punish us for having a quick morning shower while draining Eishkom’s power grid. Which has many more noble uses, such as supplying free electricity in those wards that invariably vote ANC or maybe some energy-intensive factory belonging to a black-empowerment company listed on the JSE.

Some of Skoppensboer’s more radical libtard friends, hanging around the universities where they have the pick of the choir boys and girls, as the saying goes, assure him that the Revolution has not gone far enough. Much more is on the way, and less is more, to quote some apartheid theorist.

Western civilisation is on the way out and we shall return to the pre-apartheid times when everybody was happy, living in huts made of mud and thatch. So Eskom will be a thing of the ugly past and we’ll be rubbing sticks together to make camp fires where we shall be roasting the last skinny rat caught after days of meandering in the veld as hunter-gatherers. Naturally, this will be post-land reform too and the land will have returned to a more desirable pre-apartheid state too.

The only thing that remains is for the University of Cape Town to award an honorary doctorate in political science to Jaycup Zoomer for seeing the missing link between Eskom and apartheid. Most of the cultural-Marxist professors at that august institution must gleefully agree with him and will no doubt support such a move.

We should not neglect transformation, even in the dark.

  • Annie

    Ai, Skoppensboer, dankie dat jy nog die krag het om iets te skryf oor hierdie absolute moedswillige uitlating van n baie dom kriminele kommunis. My moraal is laag vanoggend oor ons eens pragtige land wat nou in puin is. Na die Anglo Boere oorlog was ons Nasie plat op die grond geslaan, en NOU WEER. Ons verkeer tans in die grootste gevaar in ons geskiedenis. WEEREENS DANKIE vir jou uitmuntende bydraes!

  • Bianca

    When you think about it, more of us has already died in this Rainbow land than in the Anglo Boer War. Not even 30,000 die back then, and that was considered a whole generation. Now already according to Adriana Stuijt more than 70,000 whites has already died in this genocide in this “wonderful” new communist Azania.

  • Betzie van Rensburg

    Dark humor . Excellent .