Boeremeisie lost in translation

I’ve been feeling down, worried and most of all uninspired. The reason behind this psychological semi-breakdown I am having is the environment I work in and the state of our country. You get up for work every day; it pays your bills, keeps a roof over your head and food in your belly. It is something we all have to do: work, work, work, until you drop dead – is what my father always says. So I work and now I want to drop dead. What is the use of being at a job that firstly, you find no challenge in, secondly, gives you no growth, thirdly, is in an economy where jobs are really scarce and fourthly, (and my more important point), drains your soul, your sense of being? A job that breaks your spirit and tries to kill the person you are? I have been asking myself that for many months now.

You cannot explain the feeling to anyone who has not been in the same situation. You have been trying to keep your head high, trying to stay positive, trying to keep your sense of being a person, but the people at your workplace have a nasty habit of breaking your last thread of strength. When that last piece is barely hanging from your heart, you lose your sense of being, you lose your motivation, you lose your drive, you lose you. The things that used to hold joy in your life, becomes stale in your mouth and you sink deeper into the pit of darkness. You notice the world outside of your office and realize that you have been sinking into a hole of oppression, or “reverse apartheid”, of rape, of murder, of genocide. You find yourself living in a country that wants to eradicate your language, your history, your culture. You work with people who support those views, but there are also the few who don’t. You find yourself in a situation where you have trouble separating the country and the workplace and the pit becomes ever deeper. How do you ever deal with such feelings? How do you stand up for what you believe in without compromising your position?

Surviving in a multicultural country, constantly adapting to others and their way of doing things, their views, can make one feel depressed. Soon we will all be on anti-depressants just to cope with a day at the office.

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My solution: I decided to see a professional to help me with this particular situation and feelings I have. I started this blog/journal/diary – call it what you will. Maybe a daily or weekly dose of scribbles will get my frustrations out and I will be able to breathe the fresh air and freedom I so long for.

You probably don’t want to hear about my troubles, but maybe, just maybe you can give advice, or tell me to take a hike. Or maybe you can see yourself in my thoughts and find comfort in the journey we face together.

So let us start making sense of this life we find ourselves in and let us not forget where we come from and the strength of our forefathers (and -mothers).
Yolande du Plessis is a blogger from Pretoria. Read her opinions here.
  • Willem

    Know exactly what you feel. Worked in a highly PC environment, young blacks everywhere. Could get along with some of them, but I eventually resigned and fled the city. No easy life at all trying to make a living with no chance of a formal job in rural SA, but I feel at home and connected again. Best to you Yolande. One day we turn all this around again.

  • Dawid34

    Ek verstaan daai gevoel wat jy het. ek sukel ook daarmee.
    by my vorige maatskappy moes ek elke keer die “baas” leer om sy werk te doen en toe het ek net bedank want ek kon dit nie meer vat dat ek my g afwerk en dit vir niks.
    Maar wat my nou onder kry by my nuwe werkgewer is die feit dat my eie nasie afgunstig en agterbaks is. As jy n vriend van die baas is is jy in en kan jy bevordering kry andersins bly jy waar jy is. En dan die agter af wees met ander kollegas, veral ouer mense, wat het van ons volk se selfrespek en trots geword, daar is geen, maar geen respek teenoor die ander nie.
    Dit maak my bitter om te sien hoe ons met mekaar is, die een sien nie meer die son oor die ander een skyn nie, en is ook nie meer gewillig om net n klein bietjie te help nie.
    Maar ek wens jou alle voorspoed en sterkte, en soos Willem se “One day we turn all this around again.”

  • Boerseun.Z.A.R

    Vas byt!