Banana Republic or Absurdistan, Max?

by Neville Chamberlain

Max du Preez is of the informed opinion that South Africa is not a “Banana Republic” echoing similar statements from the ruling ANC elite (or should that rather be ruling ANC regime). Admitting that the state of affairs in Africa’s economic powerhouse is following the blueprint of Africa in true African style would be tantamount to High Treason for people like Max. Rather bury your head in the sand and intone “is not” a million times

Please note that I use the term “ informed” loosely as Max’s latest instalment of wisdom about Africa is based solely on the lunatic left-wing ravings contained in a book written by three members of Academia in the UK and which by and large claims that Zimbabwe’s land grabs (or redistribution of land in Leftist PCspeak) were successful.

Claims that have subsequently been refuted by Roy Bennett of the MDC. The same Roy Bennett who is the rightful Minister of Agriculture (although Bob refuses to appoint him in the position, rather arresting him on numerous occasions under false pretenses). A refutation backed by Zimbabwe’s own internal governmental statistics. It now takes an amazing 245 000 people to achieve roughly half of what 6 000 white farmers managed in producing food. The UN has indicated that 1,6 million Zimbabweans will starve if urgent food aid is not provided. Yet the land grabs were successful…huh? Subsistence farming is a success? Double huh? What happened to “the breadbasket of Africa”?

(Liberal Logic 101 – statistics are only valid if they support the liberal ideology, otherwise they are moot and inconsequential. Immediately resort to name-calling and if that doesn’t work the other person must be a racist.)

Max endeared himself to white South Africans and Afrikaners in particular with his anti-white rhetoric, socialist ideology, liberal constipation, Cultural Marxism and a talent for keeping himself in the limelight by making startling statements as displayed in his article in The Mercury.

Back to South Africa not being a Banana Republic. What is a Banana Republic? Below I have quoted a very loose definition from Wikipedia – yes I know liberals – Wikipedia isn’t scientific fact (as if that is ever of any consequence to you) but for the purposes of my opinion piece it will suffice. Anyway, I am concerned that most liberals don’t know what the Oxford dictionary is, never mind Merriam Webster

“Banana republic is a political science term for a politically unstable country whose economy is largely dependent on the export of a single limited-resource product, such as bananas. It typically has stratified social classes, including a large, impoverished working class and a ruling plutocracy that comprises the elites of business, politics, and the military. This politico-economic oligarchy controls the primary-sector productions and thereby exploits the country’s economy.”

Based on recent events such as the Madikazela-Mandela / Janie Odendaal & Abel Twala saga, Nkandlagate, the steamrolling of the PIB Act, the new BEE codes, the CAR debacle, e-Toll, most recently the Guptas’ private use of a military airbase and the violence and intimidation that will precede next years’ elections, especially in the Western Cape, it seems that South Africa fulfils most of the definition above.

Maybe our saving grace is that we can export more than just one product – although we have been a net importer of most items for quite some time now. Those dang Chinese just makes everything so much cheaper than what we can. It has done just wonders for our clothing industry – it created so many job opportunities… not.

Still have the opinion that South Africa is not a Banana Republic, Max? Maybe you’re right. I mean the term Banana Republic is so blasé and imperialistic.

Maybe we should rather have a look at a neologism such as Absurdistan. It is more contemporary and new age than Banana Republic. What is an Absurdistan? you may well ask. Once again, I will use Wikipedia for a loose definition

“Absurdistan is a term sometimes used to satirically describe a country in which absurdity is the norm, especially in its public authorities and government.”

Now that sounds more like it, doesn’t it, Max? Cadre deployment, government squandering money on silly things like street-name changes and international shopping trips, strikes that ruin the economy to pander to the wishes of a few power-hungry individuals, teachers that cannot teach their subjects, handbooks thrown in fields & rivers, two generations of functioning idiots, ministers that weigh more than your average Shetland pony, a youth development agency – NYDA – that spends all its money on salaries for cronies, and an R85-million building in Pretoria that cannot be utilized and lame denials from our President’s Office. Don’t get me started on the silliness of some of our government spokesmen and the idiocy they wish us to believe as truth. I mean, for heavens’ sake – the Minister of State Security didn’t even know his wife was a drug dealer. How absurd is that?

Max, I’m afraid that your beautiful multi-cultural and diverse dreamscape Utopia has come apart at the seams and no amount of wishful thinking and propaganda will fix that – ever. There is no reasoning that will correct what went wrong. There is no political remedy – the ANC has created a voter base dependent on hand-outs and social grants.

So what will it be Max, Banana Republic or Absurdistan?