Category: Skoppensboer

Eish, let’s fix Eskom’s apartheid by going shopping

Yebo, my friend, you’ve heard the bad news: Eskom is broken because of apartheid. It’s racial. Verwoerd made maths difficult and engineering even more so, hence you can blame it on apartheid. President Zoomer has just had his blindingly brilliant insight and all the libtard media dutifully conveyed this piece of anal-ysis to dem voting masses.

What else can you blame on apartheid? Well, Skoppensboer’s ingrowing toenails come to mind. Also, all the faeces in the Jukskei and the Vaal and all the other rivers may be attributed to apaaaatheid, I’m tellin’ ya, my good man. After all, who taught all these citizens to be so disposed as to not make proper use of the ablutions and the extant sewage facilities? The A factor, what else?

If some non-racial dude propels a chunk of concrete through your car window, as happened to Skoppensboer’s niece the other day, and grabs your handbag or your laptop, you can only blame it on apartheid. After all, said smash-and-grabber would not have been out there smashing and grabbing if it weren’t for apartheid. Like the devil, apartheid is everywhere, luring our upright, ethically pristine citizens into temptation.

Skoppensboer is just waiting for the day when the courts and the police stations and the prisons will give it all up, saying: “Apartheid makes them do it, so let’s set all these innocent victims of that crime against humanity free.” If you think about it, why did the Tukkie rapist, Samuel Msiza do the deed? Skoppensboer can already hear a whole mass choir of libtards, including Jaycup Zoomer, screaming: “Because of apartheid!” He could have stabbed his young, innocent victim once or just klapped her without raping her. But no, because of apartheid – even though he was born into this here beautiful democracy – he had to stab her 22 times and rape her while she was almost bleeding to death.

Why did South Africa’s 10 black serial killers (11 if you include one white drug addict) murder 205 people, if not because of apartheid? The fact that the rest of us do not serially kill or rape or lurk about street corners throwing stones at motorists constitutes no proof that apartheid is not to blame for everything that is going so dismally wrong in our once beautiful but presently soiled republic.

What is the solution to the lingering apartheid problem? As any libtard genius will tell you – all libtards are genii – we are already on our way to solving it by means of: affirmative action, BEE, as well as spending any budget that you can lay your hands on as if there’s no tomorrow. Ditto, when it comes to Eskom. The electricity utility just needs to get rid of any remaining white engineers who got degrees at some apartheid university prior to 1994 and ratchet up the salaries and the spending.

In short, Eskom’s employees need to get their act together over there in Megawatt Park and go shopping! As it is, Sandton City is not too far from Megawatt Park – hardly a ten-minute drive by Bentley – and there are any number of luxury-car dealerships in the vicinity where any soupçon of apartheid in the air might be assuaged by the smell of leather inside a brand-new Porsche, Merc, Bee-Em or Audi. Not to forget the Bentley which is, I am sure, one of the preferred brands for Eskom’s middle to upper management. Last time Skoppensboer looked, the Bentley dealership was also astutely situated within a radius of 10 km from Megawatt Park, in William Nicol Drive. So you need not joke anymore that BMW stands for “black man’s wheels” when, much more likely, Bentley is now the flagship affirmative automobile easily within reach of the average Eishkom exec.

Like the collapsing silo of the Majuba power station, Eskom’s problems will look after themselves while we address what every libtard is clamouring for and that is: “redress for the legacy of apartheid”. As the very existence of Eskom’s ugly power stations dotting the country attests to that legacy, it follows that we would be better off without them. We could all have little windmills or solar panels or cultivate electricity-producing bacteria in our bathtubs which would otherwise have been utilised for cold baths anyway.

Talking of cold baths and showers, Skoppensboer has noted that City Power in Johannesburg is threatening to “remotely turn off” the hot water geysers of its recalcitrant consumers in these times of energy scarcity. Caused by apartheid, needless to say.

So Big Brother has, apart from some luxury automotive toys, acquired the technology to punish us for having a quick morning shower while draining Eishkom’s power grid. Which has many more noble uses, such as supplying free electricity in those wards that invariably vote ANC or maybe some energy-intensive factory belonging to a black-empowerment company listed on the JSE.

Some of Skoppensboer’s more radical libtard friends, hanging around the universities where they have the pick of the choir boys and girls, as the saying goes, assure him that the Revolution has not gone far enough. Much more is on the way, and less is more, to quote some apartheid theorist.

Western civilisation is on the way out and we shall return to the pre-apartheid times when everybody was happy, living in huts made of mud and thatch. So Eskom will be a thing of the ugly past and we’ll be rubbing sticks together to make camp fires where we shall be roasting the last skinny rat caught after days of meandering in the veld as hunter-gatherers. Naturally, this will be post-land reform too and the land will have returned to a more desirable pre-apartheid state too.

The only thing that remains is for the University of Cape Town to award an honorary doctorate in political science to Jaycup Zoomer for seeing the missing link between Eskom and apartheid. Most of the cultural-Marxist professors at that august institution must gleefully agree with him and will no doubt support such a move.

We should not neglect transformation, even in the dark.

Libtards accede to literacy via Steve Hofmeyr

Operation “Burn the CD” against Steve Hofmeyr is in full swing, according to informed sources. Skoppensboer has some friends in high places. Or maybe low ones. Afrikaners are not supposed to have any connections beyond the local barman or primary-school teacher who has not yet been affirmative-actioned out of the way or worse, killed by one of our roving human-rights mentors, formerly known as “murderers”.

In South Africa, murder is more or less the national sport, but you’re not allowed to say the M-word. Or the A-word, B-word, C-word, and most other letters in the alphabet. That’s racist, you see. After all, this is a Latin alphabet, and the Romans were the first racists. So our South African libtards are pushing the idea that the “three R’s” are not for nothing R-words, to be shunned at all costs. As everyone knows, burning down a school is a profoundly emancipatory act, which Seffrikin libtards have profusely lauded.

Anyone knowing the 9-times table is a potential Nazi, as it shows a suspicious reverence for deceased white male (and Arab) mathematicians, not to mention Hitlerian engineers who gave us the Messerschmitt and the V-2.

Skoppensboer’s friends say that within the hallowed hierarchy of the National Intelligence Service, not to mention Crime Intelligence, there exist pangs of worry over the Afrikaans singer, Steve Hofmeyr. Just to clarify: there being no crime to solve in the South African libtard utopia, Crime Intelligence and most other intelligence agencies are involved in matters of state security.

As South Africa no longer has any defined borders and anyone from Africa is welcome to settle anywhere – except “white settlers” who are encouraged to leave – it’s sort of difficult to say where the state begins and ends. But state security, in addition to first-class air travel and staying in five-star hotels at taxpayer expense, is a top priority.

So what is known as “the media” have been infiltrated – one could also say, taken over – by men and women “of intelligence”. There is one thing better than censorship of the media and that is self-censorship of the media. The intelligence hacks out there get paid some perks out of the secret accounts – and still earn some kind of salary on top. “Intelligent” people moonlighting as journalists; what a brilliant idea!

After all, such libtard heroes as Joe Slovo and Ronnie Kasrils were intimately involved with the East German Stasi where such ideas were a staple, so to speak.

But why has Special Branch become so suspicious of Steve, to the extent that every libtard rag or website has broken out into a rash of anti-Hofmeyr opprobrium, not to mention “satire”?

As satire is a uniquely Roman, as opposed to Greek, genre, it is best treated with caution, being inherently racist. But within the ranks of the South African intelligence community and its media appendage, all caution has been thrown to the winds in a spirit of: let’s fight racism with racism!

Oops, there I’ve employed the R-word again. As long as I do not sing Die Stem, which is a patriotic poem composed in Afrikaans circa 1918 by one C.J. Langenhoven and set to music by his fellow perpetrator, M.L. de Villiers in 1921, and later adopted – God forbid! – as South Africa’s national anthem.

Patriotism, as everyone knows, is the underbelly of fascism. Any ardent feelings about one’s own country, including the disappointment at seeing its rivers being polluted with human waste by Mercedes-driving, Gucci-wearing mayors, or litter next to all the roads, are cause for extreme suspicion.

Hence all the libtard obsession with Steve, who is known to have sung Die Stem in front of an audience in the “deep platteland”. There is nothing that inspires greater fear in libtard hearts and minds than the “deep platteland” where people engage in food production, church-going, heterosexual marriage and other unspeakably fascist activities. South Africa is working hard towards a Zimbabwean-style famine and the constant resistance of farmers – the ones who have not yet been tortured to death – to the five-year famine plan is seen as something of a “prime evil” to be vigorously combatted.

Operation “Burn the CD” has now been launched against Steve Hofmeyr and teams of journalists and their intelligence handlers are flying sorties against the singer in the press, TV, radio and social media. Experts in neurolinguistic programming from MI6 and the CIA are on standby to rid South Africa of the scourge of the singing Steve phenomenon.

But, oh drat! one of the unintended consequences of the operation has been to remind participants of South Africa’s long-forgotten literacy, otherwise known as “a legacy of apartheid”. Writing in the Mail & Guardian, a local libtard rag, one of the agents referred to Steve Hofmeyr’s “library”, consisting of misspelt British and American titles.

Libraries were the first casualties of South Africa’s revolution, as books contained all those undesirable, objectionable and dignity-destroying alphabetic “constructs”, impeding progress towards an egalitarian state of illiterate, ignorant bliss among the masses. So most of the books were sent away to be pulped, especially Afrikaans ones that were deemed even less politically correct.

But the mere mention of the L-word (“library”) might have rekindled memories of the R-word (“reading”) in the hapless, subjugated animals out there, enjoying their 1994, which turned out to be a lot worse than 1984.

Another article about the subversive Steve, hinted at his being “without a brain”. This was meant as a kind of threat, that government-sponsored libtard lobotomists could give him the One-flew-over-the-cuckoo’s-nest treatment.

So the carefully planned “information campaign” is off to a bad start, with most agents falling back onto heated invective, calling the enemy the R-word (“racist”), shouting phrases like “jou me se P-word” and similar Capetonian refinements.